I Care... No, Really!

I am in a tough spot. I feel so out of place right now. All I care about right now is my family and my photography. It is a good thing that photography happens to be my living, or I would be useless. Everything else just seems to be a waste of time. It is why I have not posted anything in 10 days.

For instance I was out to dinner with my boss and his boss with the rest of the crew. I felt so awkward. They talk about movies, music, and favorite drinks. Hell, it was only about a year ago I had my first beer. I am so focused on my family and the needs of my clients I do not even care about what is on TV, the big screen, or what is on the top 40. It just does not matter. Yet, I somehow I felt I came up short.

The more I thought about it the more depressed it made me. I have not lived. I have been too busy working. WRONG!! I have lived a thousand life times. I have shaken the hands of more congress members than anyone I know. I have photographed the President. I have suited up with some of our bravest and walked into a burning building. I have photographed some of the most recognized people on the planet.

I watched horrors of 9/11 and 343 of my closest friends died trying to save as many as they could before those towers fell. Over 3,000 moms, fathers, children, and other great Americans also died. I remember that day so clear. I was driving to photograph the tearing down of a 100 plus-year-old grain elevator. People were jumping to keep from being burned alive, choosing their own demise over that of 19 nut bags.

Then that is when things started for me. Nothing else mattered. Only family and the memories I create for others. Don’t get me wrong I truly miss the daily rat race of the news biz.

A lot has happened. I have had to move from my home for a better pay check. I had to tear my kids from the stability and the uncertainty we lived for a better paycheck. Before that my wife almost died giving birth to our youngest and our youngest almost did not fair much better.

Two years later we have money in the bank. I am growing a business from a cash positive verses debt, and my youngest yells DADDY!! When I come home. I work in a profession I love. I work great hours. I get to see my family every night. In the news biz That was not the case. If drinks, TV, movies, and top 40 are the priority of those around me I feel bad for them. I get it…. I hope some day they do too. I care about those around me too much for them not to get it.